15th February '13

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I went a bit AWOL!
Last week was very tough for me. I maintained on the scales and I don't know. I got frustrated with myself after everything. One weigh-in night treat turned into a week of whatever the hell I wanted. Every day I would say to myself that I would get back on track and something would come along and pull me down.
I had my birthday. I was supposed to go out on my birthday with 'my guy' but it turned out that he had other ideas - we broke up. Less said about him and my birthday, the better so I will move on. By this point, I was so upset with myself that I took all my motivation down. Everything. I was lost. Motivation gone. I ate myself into oblivion. I didn't care about the diet, exercising or anything.
So when this weeks weigh-in came around, I was nervous. I imagined that I'd probably put on all the weight that I had took off since starting this journey. I stepped on the scales and found that I'd maintained AGAIN! I felt a slight bit of relief but still unhappy with how things were going. I expect that I will pay for last weeks food binge next week and I will be ready for it.
My consultant gave me some SAS logs to fill out for the week and hopefully I can identify what's going on with what I'm eating. Something isn't right. The exercise hasn't helped. AT ALL! I'm going back to basics this week and taking the exercise a bit easy. See if I can lose anything without it. I never had any of these issues before when I did it. None of them and I was doing much my exercise that I have been doing this time around and less food too. I'm eating all that I should be. I'm not cheating or going over my syns unless I'm doing it flexi. I'm really unmotivated.
I have recommitted myself this week. I've got the logs and eating as much fruit and veg as I can possibly get in me and drinking more water than a waterfall. So fingers crossed that I don't get effected too much by last week.
Yesterday's menu:
Breakfast : 2 wholemeal slices, 2 fried eggs (in frylight) and baked beans
Lunch: Tuna Salad (tomatoes, carrot, cucumber, lettuce, white cabbage and red onion)
Dinner: Lean mince in gravy and mashed potato.

Healthy A: 125ml Semi Skimmed/20g Light Cheddar
Healthy B: 2 Wholemeal slices

Snacks: 2 Mugshots

Syns:
1 - Chicken Mugshot
1 - Tomato Mugshot
4 - 2 tblspns of Heinz Light Salad Cream
1.5 - Gravy Powder
-------
7.5 syns! (7.5 saved)

Today's menu:
Breakfast: 2 weetabix, 250ml Semi Skimmed
Lunch: Tuna Salad (2 eggs, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, potatoes, carrot, pasta, fat free fromage frais)
Dinner: Chicken Stirfry (Yum!)

Healthy A: 250ml Semi Skimmed
Healthy B: 2 Weetabix




                                                                                    Snacks: Vanilla & Choc Muller Light
Veg Pasta Surprise (potato, pasta, carrot, brussel sprouts, green beans and cauliflower in veg stock and herbs, boiled down and mashed up)

Syns so far:
3 - 2 Laughing Cow Light triangles

Wednesday 6th February

Well today wasn't expected at all but it has been BRILLIANT!
After all the trouble with the couriers yesterday and then not turning up, I was supposed to wait in all day again like I had nothing better to do. I had to make a choice. Stay in, mope and do nothing or go to the Zumba class that I mentioned yesterday.. So I thought, SOD IT! I thought about it and decided that if the courier came, I'd run home and deal with it but if he didn't come while I was out, bonus. I want to say a big thanks to my friend, Dave for making me see the light and the silver lining.
At 9.05 this morning, I was running round the flat trying to get myself ready and get a bag together to go to Zumba for a 9.15 start. I got there and felt my nerves bubbling up. I looked around and saw that I wasn't in a room filled with skinny, athletic types and started to relax. As the music started, I felt great. I couldn't help but smile. For my first time, I don't think I did that bad :) I loved it! I mostly kept up and I felt so good afterwards :) Definitely going back for more!
I came out of there, came home having not seen the courier....
I checked my emails and found that I have a job interview! My day went from brilliant to amazing!!! My first interview in a while for a good job :) Looking forward to that!
The courier arrived at 1pm for the parcel so I hadn't missed him this morning :)
So it came to this evening and I thought that because I've upped my exercise that I might gain weight again. I didn't. I maintained and I am happy with that. Next week is going to be my week for a loss! I just know it!
After all the excitement of today, I'm knackered so just a short post tonight. Back to full strength tomorrow!

Tuesday 5th February

1 day to weigh-in.. I'm so nervous. I have let the gain from last week, really affect me this week. Not in a really bad way, where I've eaten anything I wanted and gone off the rails but in a mental way. I have really worried about what I've eaten, what exercise I should or shouldn't do, amount of fluids I've drank. It's really got under my skin that after working so hard, I put weight on. I understand why and this week, I've taken measures to try and see it not happen again. My brain is still asking the same questions. It won't stop. After tomorrow, it won't be mentioned again. I promise! I need to know if I've done the same this week or I've actually lost some.
Well last night's dinner - syn free chilli con carne and rice! I'm not a big rice fan. I never have been. I'm more of a pasta person. Do you find that? or are you the opposite?
I didn't sleep well again. This is a re-occurring thing. I'm not worried - I've been dealing with it for a long time and still never fails to really royally pee me off. Ugh! On a brighter note, it appears no ill-effects from yesterday's extra exercise. BONUS!
Today is going to be a lazy day. I don't want it to be because the sun is out, looks really nice out like it was yesterday. I have been entrusted with a parcel to be picked up by the couriers at some point between 8am and 6pm.. so I have to wait in like I have nothing else to do til it's been taken. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hoping that it will go soon though as I don't like starting my walk after the primary school next door kicks out at 3pm. I get very embarrassed and all the cars blocking the road like a car park, all the people crowded outside and mums with big pushchairs all blocking the pathways makes it a very hazardous way to walk. I like peace, quiet and calm when I walk so I can concentrate. Although, there is a very small chance that I may go out later in the day before my family gets home if it hasn't been picked up by 3.
As for food today, I started with hot weetabix and milk (both A and B choices) and I also synned a 20g mild cheddar stick (6 syns).. damn that cheese! luckily, there's only one left! once they're gone, they're gone...!!
I decided on an early lunch today because I was peckish. I had 2 eggs (done in frylight), lean bacon, chilli potatoes (coated in frylight and chilli powder and then dry fried) and spaghetti hoops.. omnomnomnomnomnom!! Was lovely!!
I have planned a tuna pasta salad for later on - really looking forward to that :)

More Later!!

Monday 4th February

Monday - everyone hates Mondays lol! Today (so far..) has been pretty awesome! The suns's been out, nice chilled relaxed day. Got everything done that I wanted to get done and have sat down for a bit before the family comes home :)
So I started today quite well, for breakfast I had hot weetabix (2 as HE B choice) and milk (250 semi skimmed as HE A choice). I used all my milk but that's okay because I have been drinking hot squash as a replacement of tea and coffee. I felt a bit naughty so I synned a 20g stick of mild cheddar (6 syns). Was totally worth it!
I didn't sleep well last night. I was tossing and turning all night. Could not get comfortable. So after breakfast, I decided to have a little snooze. Felt soooooooooo much better afterwards.
Only problem was, I didn't feel like going out for my walk. I was just going to stay indoors today and do my DVD and be done with it for today. I was talking to a friend and she said to me "stay indoors then, have a day off..You can always pick it up again tomorrow." That was enough to kick me into line and got myself ready to go out and off I went. Pounding the road :) I got a little tightness in the legs but I've put that down to trying to go faster than my legs want to go. I didn't really jog much today. I don't think I would've got home if I had. (Picture is of part of my walking route)

On my last stretch, I caught up with one of the lovely ladies that goes to my SW group. We were talking about Zumba classes that go on in the same hall as we go to for group. That's on a Wednesday morning or a Friday evening so I'm gearing myself up for that! My weigh in is a Wednesday night as well. Could be good for a little boost before weighing in! :)
When I got home, I was starving and fancied something big so I had fried eggs (in frylight), lean bacon, 2 low fat sausages (2 syns each), beans, and chopped tomatoes :) Was amazing! Enjoyed every last mouthful!

I let that settle and found some spare energy. I don't know where it came from but I was glad of it. I was only going to do 30 mins on Rosemary Conley but I found that I didn't want to stop! Did the whole DVD! 3 sections - all in 1 go! I feel amazing tonight! My body will probably give me plenty of grief when it realises what I've done hehe!
Don't know what we're having for dinner tonight - something yummy I hope!
More later!

Sunday 3rd February

I have a new resolve on me today. I'm starting again. I feel like I have let myself slip a little and I don't like that feeling. So, I have decided that I will be 100% focused on everything. Plenty of exercise and superfree foods.
I'm even considering Success Express plan from SW. It's supposed to help boost your weightloss. Although it's not really designed for a long time thing. A week or 2 at most. For those not familiar with it...
Your plates have to be 1/3 free foods and 2/3 superfree foods and then you syn all the things that aren't neutral e.g. meat on red or pasta on green etc. When synning food, you go for the HIGHEST syn value. It looks like a good plan! So from Thursday, I think I will give that a go for a week and see if it makes a difference to my weight loss. 
I have to say that today I'm feeling particularly fat, bloated and yuck! My mind is telling me that this week, I'm going to put on. I know it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy but it's also a motivator for me. I've agreed with my brain that if I do put on, that I'm NOT to get upset because I knew but I'll re-affirm my commitment the next week. There are plenty of weeks left of my journey to lose the lbs in chunks. If I don't put on and I do manage to lose or maintain, I'll know that all the water and the tablets are working. BIG PLUS!
So on with today, I was up in the middle of the night AGAIN! I munched my way through a 60g bag of roast chicken fridge raiders (2.5 syns), 3 Alpen light bars ( 2 as my HE B choice and 1 synned at 3 syns) and a pack of ham. I must have been hungry! I drifted back off to sleep all content and happy! That is one of my hazard areas - eating in the middle of the night. I go for anything I can get my hands on regardless of the syns. Luckily, there's no chocolate or crisps or anything in the kitchen or I would really be in trouble. 
I'm going to go out for my walk/jog soon and come back and have fruit and yogurt for my breakfast.
I have a potential danger area tonight - some Sundays, we go to my grans for dinner. She isn't really up with the SW plan. She's a skinny mini and eats what she wants. So, the rest of my syns for today are going to be saved for that (9.5 syns) 

well I went out for my walk/jog and immediately felt better when I got back! I was considering doing some Rosemary Conley but my mum needed help around the house today. So I gave the place a thorough cleaning - hoovering, dusting, mopping, tidying, putting away. I was definitely sweaty afterwards! All spotless now and 1 happy mummy! 
I had a cup of tea with a dash of milk and a 20g mild cheddar cheese stick (HE A choice) and a roast chicken Mug Shot. 
I've also prepared and in the process of cooking dinner tonight for my family (my mum, sister, gran) and me. We are having roast beef, roast potatoes (done in frylight), parsnips, carrots, sprouts, gravy (1 syn) and a yorkshire pud (4 syns)! omnomnom! Don't know what's happening for pudding yet but I have 4.5 syns left to munch something nice! :) I think I'll have fruit, Hartley's 10% mango and passion fruit jelly (o.5 syns) and an Activia 0% fat fat free mango yogurt :) my mouth is watering already. Still got an hour before the main dinner is ready! hehe! 

This evening, I think I will get an early night and dream of being slim and cavorting with my really hot, gorgeous man in my new slim body lol!! 

3 DAYS TO WEIGH-IN AND HOPEFULLY A LOSS ON THE SCALES!! COME ON GIRL, YOU CAN DO IT! 

Saturday 2nd February - updated!

So after my lovely walk/jog in the rain yesterday, I came home and... THE RAIN STOPPED! Just typical!
For my lunch yesterday, I had a tuna pasta salad with onion, pepper, carrot, peas, sweetcorn as well as tuna and pasta obviously...hehe! All free and made loads!!

While that was all cooking, I cut up some potato, courgette, carrot, pepper, and onion and sprayed it all with frylight and shoved it in the oven for roasted vegetables later on. Was yummy!

My mum and sister came home from work last night with 2 mini cream and strawberry sponges.. I was told I could have some but I resisted and said "when I'm in my skinny jeans and you 2 aren't, you'll regret eating that".. very proud of myself!

For dinner last night, had spaghetti bolognese again. Can't get enough of it!


So Saturday, a new day and I'm ready for it.
I have been drinking plenty of fluids. My made up bottles of squash are coming in very handy! I'm definitely drinking more now that I know that I'm dehydrating my body - hence the water retention.
I'm going to definitely going to push myself today and do as much exercise as I can to build up some sweat. Got a lot of housework to do, will have my daily jog and may even try out a new exercise DVD. On the subject of new exercise DVDs, has anyone tried the Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred?? I have read some good reviews but I want to hear it from real people, with real weight to lose that have been actively doing it.

Some motivation......
Don't know about food today yet. Not long got up! I know lazy of me! hehe!
Will have some breakfast and let that settle before going out for my walk/jog.

Well I went out and did my bit. The sun is out but it's cold and windy. I pushed myself a little bit by adding a few more sections of jogging. I think I'm getting fitter as I feel like I am able to do more :) Even if the scales don't show how hard I'm working, my body is definitely letting me know. 
I got home and thought that I would try another of the exercise DVDs - Gimme Gimme Gimme: The Workout (to Abba tunes). It looks fun but quite fast paced. I would need to be super fit to keep up with that. So that's gone out the window! Instead, I did 30 mins on my Rosemary Conley. Normally, I wouldn't exercise indoors with anyone here because I don't need their input in how wrong I'm doing it and laughing at my lack of co-ordination or moves. Today, I thought that I would test the theory. I was right not to do it while people are at home with me. Never again! It was off-putting and I was laughed at. 
I'm fully exercised today with 30 mins walk/jog and 30 mins exercise dvd. 
I have drank so much water already today! I feel like a weeble! hehe!
Not really hungry today. I've just managed a minestrone mug shot (a new one for me and didn't like it) and I'm full. I need to eat to maintain my weight loss. I can't force myself as that will make me sick. 
Well, the day didn't exactly go like I had planned. 
For lunch, I had a jacket potato with baked beans and a helping of fat free natural fromage frais. 
The rest of the day just flew by for some reason. I sat watching Birds of a Feather with my family for a looooong time and did little bits of housework inbetween. 
We had dinner really late last night but was ready for it when it came!
Had chicken breast, mashed potato (with 1 tsp of flora light and 1oz semi skimmed milk, between 3 of us), carrots and sweetcorn. 
I headed straight to bed pretty much straight away afterwards. Took those water tablets and fell asleep :)

Friday 1st February

It's 1st Feb, a new month, new start!

Yesterday was all a bit up in the air. Having had a bad night on Wednesday, I completely lost all my focus. I was doing the food optimizing but I was hardly eating. I ate randomly. The only meal I ate was dinner last night and picked throughout the day. I know it wasn't a good thing to do but it got me through the day. 

During the day yesterday, I went and bought some water balance tablets to see if there was any way of stopping the build up of water. I'm drinking plenty now so there really should be no need for it to happen. I used some old 1ltr bottles to fill up with water and a little squash to keep me going through the day. 

As for exercise yesterday, I planned no actual exercise as in jogging or anything but I did have to go out and spent loads of energy walking around town for an hour and a half. So I can safely say that I exercised! 

The muscles in my groin are all better now. I just needed rest and to keep going at a slower pace. I won't be doing that again.. I hope! Annoying!

So last night's meal was mince and mashed potato - yummy! 

I had all of my syns yesterday and a few over. I know, I mustn't sabotage myself but I really fancied Sunbites so I had them. 

Today is a new day and I have started with optimism and renewed determination. Although, I'm feeling a little headachy and bit off balance... not sure what that's about. 

This morning, I had 2 fried eggs (done in fry light) on 2 slices of wholemeal 400g bread (HE B choice) and 1 tblspn of tomato sauce. 

The weather doesn't look nice out there. It has been raining through the night and still lightly raining now. Is that going to stop me putting on my coat, trainers and upbeat music? NO! I'm just letting my breakfast settle and then I'm going out there. Wish me luck!